My initial enquiry, the focus of my blog posts up to early 2020, was about going deeply into desire. The intention was to explore what it was I wanted on a deep level. That enquiry actually began in 2016, but I started the blog two years later. During 2019 I reached a place of sensing what it was I really was wanting – to open more to connection in a full sense. I had just started pulling the enquiry together into a book form when some big things occurred – for me and for others. First, the movement teacher, Suprapto Suryodarmo, who has been a strong influence and inspiration for me for many years, died. This was followed by the Covid19 pandemic and then by the death of my meditation teacher, Rob Burbea. During the second “lockdown” of the pandemic, I contracted the Covid19 virus and became very ill. This experience changed me in many ways. I completely let go of my profession as a dramatherapist. And I found myself in the weird world of Long Covid – a condition of severe exhaustion which lasted over 8 months.
My instinct for enquiry has remained, but my sense of direction and focus felt very uncertain. Uncertainty seems to be a personal and global quality of being at the present. I understand, of course, that this has actually always been so – but the experience and awareness about uncertainty has been hugely heightened. My desires to open and to go deeper have remained – but what can I offer now? Then, after reviewing the poetry I have written over recent months, I began to see a theme emerging – something about “being between” one thing and another, or exploring what is happening when “being on the edge”. These senses of being reflect my own current experiences: my health, my social position as a retired person, my wanderings in the natural world, etc.
Feel free to just read this blog without needing to comment. But, a word about “Comments”: It’s is a bit of a misnomer for this blog. I really do not want “Like”! If you feel moved to comment, what I am inviting is for you to share your experience and reflections as contributions to the discussion. The result can then be co-creative and an opening up of perspectives on the whole enquiry area.
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