I am sure some form of ‘Jouissance’
Is in there somewhere, although that be moving away from the word and concept of desire but maybe that’s what is need. And Jouissance is such a juicy word, and concept – at least when read through the French feminist lens. The following is an excerpt from Wikipedia .
The French feminist writer Hélène Cixous uses the term jouissance to describe a form of women’s pleasure or sexual rapture that combines mental, physical and spiritual aspects of female experience, bordering on mystical communion: “explosion, diffusion, effervescence, abundance…takes pleasure (jouit) in being limitless”. Cixous maintains that jouissance is the source of a woman’s creative power and that the suppression of jouissance prevents women from finding their own fully empowered voice. The concept of jouissance is explored by Cixous and other authors in their writings on Écriture féminine, a strain of feminist literary theory that originated in France in the early 1970s.
Other feminists have argued that Freudian “hysteria” is jouissance distorted by patriarchal culture and say that jouissance is a transcendent state that represents freedom from oppressive linearities. In her introduction to Cixous’ The Newly Born Woman, literary critic Sandra Gilbert writes: “to escape hierarchical bonds and thereby come closer to what Cixous calls jouissance, which can be defined as a virtually metaphysical fulfillment of desire that goes far beyond [mere] satisfaction… [It is a] fusion of the erotic, the mystical, and the political.”
Also Audre Lord May have something to say that’s useful – she certainly did about the ‘erotic’.
Rob’s second talk resonated so deeply in my body – I already ‘knew’ what he is talking about, his speaking it made it more concious in me. Not acting on feelings and desire for another, but moving forward with that desire into a deeper relationship is something I feel I knew about in my early twenties. As Burbrea sort of states, the boundaries and constraints on a relationship can facilitate a movement from the mundane to the mystical and the divine if we don’t turn away. Eros – or ‘Divine Eros’ as Almaas and Jackson describe it. I feel the blossoming of that divine energy in the being is desire without craving.
By the way the photograph is beautiful.
Being cared for – a sticky subject for me. I used to fantasize about going to either prison or hospital to get caring. I also cared for others as a way of gaining importance and identity for myself.
I couldn’t allow myself to be cared for as I distrusted the world and everyone in it because of too much hurt in my early life.
As the new brain research is showing, caring, relational behaviours can easily be ruptured by a wrong word, gesture or movement, necessitating repair before things can move forward
Allowing an open, aware presence at a deep level seems to be one of the most helpful and caring ways of being.
I was reminded of what I think is an NLP saying- ‘ the response you get is the meaning of your communication’
This can be difficult to take on board but can be quite telling to investigate.
‘Zen and the Art of Helping’ by David Brandon is a fantastic little book about caring – and when not to!
I vividly remember this desire/ longing for the Other, or an other, to share these ecstatic moments with.
Now you have reminded me of those feelings I realise I no longer have them. Not sure why. Maybe I am dead, or maybe ‘I am’.
I am sure being with my new grandchild is will change things as I see the world through his experiencing.
I am trying to think through what for me is a conflation of ideas here.
According to Lacan, desire arises when need becomes demand – that some how makes sense to me. Also, that the raw material of desire arises out of a mangled need. The need is mangled so much that it’s no longer a question of getting the need met any more. That’s the frustrated needs and drives you wrote about Mary. Your need was probably for release, comfort , warmth and rest and some body shoved a snickers bar in your mouth instead!
Lacan also states that all desire is a desire for recognition by the other/Other – we desire the others/Others desire.
Our own desire arises in the unknown gaps in the desire of the other. Gaps that are there because we can never really know the desires of another’s haven’t got to the part where Lacan talks about how to deal with that loss creating lack situation.
I am still confused as to which are my own desires and which are the others/Others desires but in my old age I am beginning to question whether the distinction matters any more? And, as usual , the unconscious confuses everything, bringing about the life- giving excitement of the unknown.
And a question – is ‘creating’ a need?